Well, just like the Twinkies, in spite of a good start, Luker ended up getting his ass kicked in the opening week of his Moroccan adventure. Two nights before the Twins suffered at the hands of Mark Texeira and the Damn Yankees, I was hunched over a toilet, violently expunging the contents of my guts with bidirectional efficiency, or in order to be more accurate, I should describe my situation as a bidirectional dilemma. It was damned ugly. Our host family's bathroom already has some pretty offensive odors and it's too bad I had to add to it in such extreme, revolting fashion.
The cause of my sudden intestinal distress was obviously food poisoning. My only other experience with food-poisoning came during my Sophomore year of high school when I fell victim to an undercooked hot dog from the Lindbergh Center. Getting hit with a bout of food-borne illness was inevitable on a trip like this; I only hope that my episode thoroughly immunized me to any future digestive issues. After my awful night, I was able to take a room at the ALIF residence where I could recover without worrying my host family, or succumbing further to the formidable stench of their bathroom. I slept for the entire day, out cold, tucked in deep with the cousin of death. And even after sleeping for an entire day, I was able to fall straight back to sleep after a light meal of bread, Pringles, and 7-Up.
To be honest, I do feel proud of myself for how I handled the whole situation. After my poisoning in high school, I was laid up for over 4 days, completely bed-ridden and determined to complain non-stop until I was feeling back up to 100%. During my Moroccan ordeal, I felt surprisingly detached and calm the whole time. I remember thinking, "Wow, this really sucks. This is really a bummer, but what the hell can I do about it? Whatever. Gotta roll with the intestinal punches I guess. Gotta get everything out of me, and then I'll be all good again. Gotta let the rivers of vomit and diarrhea run their course." All things considered, I was pretty Zen throughout the whole ordeal.
And today, I'm certainly on the mend, feeling much better, well on my way back to 100%. And I have to admit, griping on my blog makes me feel better too. Allow me to extend a combined apology/thank you; I apologize for complaining, and I thank you for enduring said complaints.
I only hope that my brief retelling of my unfortunate gut trauma hasn't upset any of you too much. I apologize for that as well if I've happened to offend your tummies. Trust me, I could've gone into much more graphic, disgusting detail. Trust me, I exercised a considerable degree of restraint while writing this post.
Well, Morocco is off to a bit of a rocky start, but I'm confident that things will improve soon enough. Today, I booked plane tickets to Madrid for a trip on the weekend of the 22nd. And the tickets were only $36USD. I'm guessing Ryan Air might be a bit sketchy, but I don't mind getting what I paid for when I only paid 36 bucks for a flight.
I hope all of you are well. Know that I'm damned jealous that I can't get live access to the Twin's games like all of you lucky persons. The 5 hour time difference would seem to be manageable as far as game watching goes, but unfortunately, I only have internet access until 9 pm my time. That's a bummer dawg. Well, at least I can stay posted on their progress even though I may not get a chance to watch the game action.
That's all I've got.
Until next time,
Your Favorite Luker
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